Emotional+Wellbeing

Tips To Building Long Term Self Esteem & Confidence

29 . 11 . 2018

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Self-esteem and confidence remain very fundamental aspects of one’s character and self-identity.

In fact, one might say that self-esteem and confidence play a big role in how a person sees themselves, others, and sets expectations for themselves and how they want life to work out for them. As such, developing self-esteem and confidence for long-term growth can become an integral part not just of someone’s personality, but of their growth as individuals in general. Seems overwhelming to you? It can, but you might be glad to know that there are actually ways for you to be able to achieve long-term development for your self-esteem and confidence.

However, it may help to understand some fundamentals between confidence and self-esteem first. In fact, these two (2) are often interchanged with one another because of how they appear to be extremely related to each other. This is primarily because both confidence and self-esteem are related to the way you perceive yourself as an individual – it’s what they help you “perceive” that makes a huge difference towards your concept of worth.

Confidence, especially self-confidence, is the belief that you’re capable of achieving competence and success. Simply put, this is the capacity to believe in your capacity as a person. Most of the time, confidence relates to your ability to perform a specific task, or even some attitude that you hold when it comes to abilities in terms of living.

Self-esteem, meanwhile, is the concept of your worth and your self. This is how you perceive your “value” as an individual. This may be with regards to things such as your work and livelihood, your social status, your overall achievements, your perceived purpose in life, your “place” in society, your weaknesses and strengths, your potential to achieve success, your capacity to be independent, and how you relate with other individuals.

Self Esteem And Confidence: Developing For Long Term

With the above in mind, it’s important to understand that developing your self-esteem and confidence for the long-term needs careful planning, goal setting, mindset, and execution. This might seem a bit too technical at first, but a lot of people tend to not succeed in building their confidence and self-esteem because they can get overwhelmed with how broad these concepts are. If you feel as though this entire endeavor is becoming too much to handle, places like Endeavor Wellness can help you out. In the meantime, here are a few tips to building your self-esteem and confidence long term.

Assess your skills, resources by doing an audit

One of the most important and overlooked aspects of developing one’s confidence and self-esteem is that we often have a tendency to overestimate or underestimate our capabilities, skills, and resources. This isn’t because we’re incapable of doing so, but rather most times because we fail to take into account just what exactly you’re capable of. You can start your path towards self-esteem and confidence by first being aware exactly what your skills and resources are. If you feel as though you don’t “have” any, or if you can’t make an “objective” assessment, treat this as though you’re forming a resume but you can add everything related to yourself there. This can be your personality “resume” you can go back to every year and modify whenever you attend or acquired some form of training. This will be the closest you can get to a “quantitative” representation of what you can do, and can make your decision-making process much easier to comprehend.

Make yourself completely aware of your needs, wants, and goals

Goal-setting is an integral part of paving your way to success. Long-term self-esteem and confidence relies on being capable of establishing wants and needs and goal-setting in a way that you know is possible given current parameters. Now that you know your skill-set, try to assess your desires and how you can hope to achieve them. Try to list what you want to achieve throughout your lifetime – no matter how “grandiose” or “minuscule” it is – and assess them properly. Don’t say if they’re “achievable” or not. Rather, assess these goals by level of difficulty, how long it would take to accomplish them, what levels of skills and resources you need, and what are the steps you need to take to accomplish them. Look at goals, no matter how “grand,” as a series of steps you have to take. This makes them much more digestible and comprehensible.

Remember that long-term success is built upon a series of nows

 When you think of how someone’s become successful, don’t feel as though they got everything in one go. Rather, think of them building upon their successes one small step at a time. You should start to remember that you can’t just achieve your goal in one step. This is why we try to think of them as a series of steps you have to accomplish. Achieving a goal can feel delightful, as is achieving one after the other. Dissect your big goals and divide them into small achievable goals you can accomplish over a period of time. This at least allows you to feel much more content with your current progress.

Constantly expose yourself to things you’d love to try to do – and do them 

Sometimes, the best way for you to develop better self esteem and confidence is to expose yourself to things you’d love to try. Before you venture into big things with big risks, try to zero in on your passions and get involved in the community more. Attend conventions, conferences and meetups, volunteer and help others, or even just attend seminars. Expose yourself to avenues where you can meet and interact with people that are generally on the same level as you are. Sometimes, the more you see that you love trying out new things – especially when it comes to your hobbies – the more you’re likely going to try to pursue new things related to your dreams.

Surround yourself with a network of supportive people

One of the most crucial things you should remember when undergoing personal development is that you should surround yourself with people that can support you. This doesn’t mean people who will just agree with you all the time. Rather, surround yourself with people going through the same thing, or people that can teach you about your passions. Surround yourself with teachers, honest critics, and industry figures that constantly push you to become a better person.

Remember that there’s no harm in trying

 Of course, trying in proper context. Don’t do something that will be harmful to you and others. However, that precaution aside, don’t ever blame yourself or forbid yourself from working to achieve your dreams or trying to get into a new hobby or passion. Always remember that you’re also allowed to make mistakes, or to try new things that you’re interested in. Keep this mentality in mind, and always remember that you’re doing this for yourself and not for any other person.

Compare yourself to how other people’s actions can improve you, not their results

 Comparing yourself to another person is generally unadvised in terms of personal development. However, if you can’t avoid looking at how other people make their progress, try to not focus on their achievements and instead on how they’re doing it. This at least makes your observation more objective. Even if you feel a bit insecure and jealous, you’re at least focusing on how they’ve achieved their particular goal. What did they do in order to do things you’ve liked? Is it something you can do as well? If you don’t want to do this method, what other options exist?

Progress on your development is entirely up to you

 Most importantly, remember that whatever happens, progress in terms of your development will be up to you and no one else. This means even if none of the methods you read online motivate you to move now, remember that only you can give yourself the drive and the passion towards your development. Likewise, also remember that you’re the only one stopping yourself from becoming the best version of yourself. This might seem like a responsibility, but also look at this as the reality that you actually have the power to make a positive change to yourself towards a direction no one can ever dictate.

The Takeaway: Self Esteem And Confidence For The Long Term

Improving both your self-esteem and confidence can be challenging, not because it’s hard but rather because it’s a constantly evolving process. It’s important to remember, especially with the tips above, that it’s much more worth the while improving upon your natural qualities knowing you’re doing this to become a better person instead of chasing after some goal. At the end of the day, your confidence and self-esteem will be better-equipped for long-term development when you slowly realize that all of this that you’re doing will be for your betterment and not just a temporary thing. When you see that this is a process that extends throughout the rest of your lifetime, improving upon yourself can become a more fruitful and enjoyable endeavor.

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I'm Rebecca Sparks
Founder of The Daily Guru, Confidence & Life Transition Coach, Speaker, Podcaster, Educator, Adventurer & Goal-Getter!

My mission is to help women believe and invest in themselves and  to help them to carve out their own exciting and fortuitous path in life.

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