3 . 05 . 2020

Your Free Spirit Animal ScreenSaverS!
MONTHLY SELF-Coaching worksheets
Downloadable Recipe Cards by Jess Sepel
Now Trending:
I'm Rebecca!

Welcome to DG! We are a Coaching Hub for Women!  Over the past 7 years we've created a huge library of Articles, Guides, Coaching Resources and Courses, to help women grow & thrive in their own life.  We hope you enjoy exploring the site x


Listen to our #1 Confidence Podcast

Tune in

Explore our latest episodes of The 'C' Bomb

Written By

The Daily Guru Team

The itch — what is it?


Ah, the ‘new-ness’ of a relationship — you know what it feels like.

Fiery passion. Butterflies. Lust. Love, even.

You just cannot get enough.

But then eventually the passion starts to wane, the novelty wears off and things just aren’t so…effortless anymore.


Feelings of undying love might fade a little. You might start to get antsy or take your partner for granted. Your partner’s questionable hygiene habits may become completely intolerable and it seems to be a lot more difficult to accept each other’s more irritating points. Compliments become few and far between.

Things might be OK — but they’re not wonderful.

It’s incredibly common for couples to experience a decline in the quality of their relationship, or reach a critical sink or swim, “where do we go from here?” turning point.

And it seems it’s especially common to reach this brink about three years in.

It’s called the three-year itch — a phenomenon where tensions rise and couples are forced to either part ways, or adapt. Make it or break it. Take stock of their partnership and decide whether it’s what they want — or not.

Basically, the honeymoon period is over and it’s time to really decide if you’re going to be in it for the long haul, warts ‘n all.

Why three years?

Dr Helen Fisher, author of Why We Love, believes there’s a natural breaking point in a relationship and it often rears its head around the fourth year.

“So by the third year, you are beginning to face a powerful breaking point when the wild infatuation has worn off,” Dr Fisher says.

“Research shows that initial, intense passion lasts one to three years. When that starts to wear off, there may be a strong emotional attachment — but there may not. I found through research across the world that if you are going to divorce, you tend to divorce around the fourth year of marriage.”

So, what is it that happens at the three-year point to create such havoc?

Here’s a couple of theories:

  • After a few years, couples have probably spent enough time together that the unfavorable habits and traits that were oh-so-easy to forgive (or at least, tolerate) in the honeymoon period, eventually become a little, let’s say, overbearing. Let’s call them, ‘passion-killers’.
  • Predictability and monotony might rear their ugly heads, forcing romance to take a back seat against the logistics of life. Work. Kids. Study. Stress. Responsibilities. Must-dos. We take for granted the fact that our partner is right there by our side, through it all.

You see it’s not necessarily about falling out of love. It’s just that the passion, spontaneity and mindfulness that was once on autopilot, falls by the wayside and your relationship becomes…routine.

How to avoid it?

Although there’s plenty of research out there that tends to show the three-year itch really does exist, it’s by no means inevitable.

Every relationship isn’t destined for a reckoning on its three-year anniversary, so don’t expect it to happen to you. Especially if you do the work to make sure it doesn’t.

Of course, the first step in avoiding the three-year itch is choosing wisely.

Just because your biological clock is ticking and your friends are all loved up, doesn’t mean you need to open your life up to someone simply for the sake of being ‘in a relationship.’

Relationship 101: be with someone for all the right reasons.

Look for characteristics that will see you through the long term — aligned values, shared interests and hobbies. A deep connection.

The truth is, no relationship is perfect. No partner is perfect. We all have our own little idiosyncrasies that have the potential to irk our other halves. There are simply things we just cannot change about ourselves, or others.

And often, we don’t need to change. We simply need to implement and be mindful of some important rituals and practices — as a pair — to ensure our relationship grows from strength to strength. It’s undeniable that the couples who prioritise their relationship and put in the extra effort every day — no matter how long they’ve been together — have a better chance at thriving.

Ask yourself, “What have I done for my relationship lately to stoke the fire?” put in the extra effort every single day and see how your relationship responds.

As a couple, you could consider implementing some of the four following to help avoid experiencing the three-year-itch:

First, love yourself

We get so caught up in trying to make others happy, or relying on them for happiness, that we forget about the one person we need to love first — ourselves. Unless you love yourself, you cannot love someone else, fully.

So prioritize self-love. Be kind to yourself. Create time to yourself to connect to the essence of who you are as an individual and your own ever-changing wants, needs, and desires. Implement practices and rituals that make you feel good and confident in your body and who you are.

By maintaining your own sense of self and a life of your own throughout your relationship with your partner, you retain your individuality.


It’s in all the relationship self-help books and seems like an obvious one, but communication really is the key to understanding each other.

Any long-term relationship is bound for bumps in the road and while it’s not possible to avoid them at all costs, it’s crucial to navigating them in loving and effective ways. This is why you need to talk.

Address your problems and be honest — voice the things you like and dislike about your relationship. Staying silent breeds resentment, which continues to bubble away before eventually sparking bigger upheaval when you’re facing the strains of life.

As soon as you recognize you’re going through a rough patch, sit down and hash it out. Identify the tension points and together, decide how you can improve them.

If you can convey to your lover what you’re feeling, there shouldn’t be any confusion.

On the same note, you need to keep talking even when things are going great — don’t wait for things to go awry. Tell your partner what’s making you happy right now.

Celebrate the good stuff

Your partner will never be flawless, and let’s face it, neither will you. Which is why sometimes you need to simply surrender to the imperfect (but harmless) traits and habits and focus on the good things.

Remind yourself why you were attracted to each other in the first place and then tell them. 

Compliment each other, daily. 

Show appreciation for all the big and small things. 

Tell them what you love about them, every single day.

Honouring the good things about your relationship will remind them — and you — of the abundance they bring to your life and help you to manifest even more of it.

Keep it exciting 

Novelty and spontaneity keep our attention, but it doesn’t mean we need someone new every few years to experience that. It just takes a little creativity and a commitment to maintain an ongoing sense of newness.

What activity, experience or conversation might help you unlock something new about your partner or relationship that you’ve never seen before? 

Carve out quality time and embrace the opportunity to create endless beautiful experiences and memories together.

Go on a ‘first’ date. Take a nostalgia trip to somewhere you travelled to together in the early days. Discover a new, shared interest or hobby. Take time away from the hum-drum, free of distraction, and be fully present together — if only for a night.





Share this:
Journal Prompts

A hugely valuable personal growth tool is the use of Journal Prompts. Bringing awareness to our most common thoughts and consciously choosing to reprioritize, refocus, and redirect these thoughts, can have the most profound impact on our life and emotional wellbeing – especially during these challenging times of late. However, at times, journalling can feel […]

50 Journal Prompts For Self-Discovery


read more

I’m not much of a fan of exercising. In fact, I quite often hate it. What I do love however, is exercising my vagina — or to be more specific — my pelvic floor muscles. Why? Because it allows me to have epic sex and incredible orgasms. Exercising your pelvic floor muscles with a simple […]

The Best Sexercise You Can Do


read more

We all experience fear and anxiety at times. It’s a completely natural and helpful human emotion that helps us respond to danger — an automatic alarm that goes off in a challenging situation where we feel threatened, pressured or stressed. We feel it when we’re about to jump on a roller coaster. When we’re gearing […]

Behaviours That Contribute To Anxiety


read more

ARE YOU IN A MAZE? Are you feeling like you’re at a stage in your life where you’re not where you thought you’d be? Maybe you’re reflecting on others thinking they seem to have it all and you’re not even close?? Or maybe you’re just feeling a little feeling lost? You might have a million things […]

Feeling lost? How to find your way out!


read more

Have you ever considered how the ways you treat yourself and others are surprisingly similar? As far back as the Bible, it has been espoused that we should treat others as we would want to be treated. But this, perhaps, looks only at the inter-relationship between people. What about the intra — the importance of […]

What our Behaviour Really Means!


read more

  CARRY ON FLOURISHING   It’s been a bit of a whirlwind adventure with our “flourish” series and we hope you’ve loved it as much as we have!   So far, we’ve covered: How to flourish at home How to boost your energy and motivation Relationship rehab How to prepare for meaningful action How to […]



read more

New Year Resolutions… We have made it to 2021! Well done. Last year was anything but easy. 2020 presented us all with challenges, abrupt change, and transitions, amongst many other things, and you made it through. As you reflect on the last year, there are things you may want to leave behind, while there may […]

Embracing Rhythms Over Resolutions

Personal Growth

read more
Design your day

“Wonderful. Productive. Smooth. Successful.” This is how we want to be able to respond when someone asks us, “How was your day?” With everything on our plate, those words often seem unrealistic.  But despite our waking hours being filled with a rush of activity that has the potential to send us into a state of […]

How To Design Your Day

Personal Growth

read more

10 years from now, where will you be? Have a clue? Not quite sure at all? That’s ok. Like a fortune-teller with her crystal ball in hand, you too can look into your future now and see the life you are manifesting. Here’s how you can quite simply predict where you will be in 10 […]

Where Will You Be 10 Years From Now?

Personal Growth

read more

  When life gets busy or you find that one area of your life is demanding a lot of your time and energy, it’s easy to find yourself out of balance and not paying enough attention to what’s most important in your life. While you need to have drive and direction, too much can create […]

Finding Balance In Our Busy Lives

Personal Growth

read more

Your head strongly insists on taking the job. Running the marathon. Leaving the relationship. But your heart… well, your vehemently disagrees. Have you been tied up in the limbo of your head and heart? Paralysed by indecision because you don’t know what’s right?     The heart whispers but when it does, the message is […]


Personal Growth

read more

We all get lost from time to time. We all forget who we really are when life throws a spanner (or three) into the works. Faced with choices to start and end relationships, to travel the world, to follow the hunch or to leave it, to start a family or maybe to close your business […]


Personal Growth

read more

I'm Rebecca Sparks
Founder of The Daily Guru, Confidence & Life Transition Coach, Speaker, Podcaster, Educator, Adventurer & Goal-Getter!

My mission is to help women believe and invest in themselves and  to help them to carve out their own exciting and fortuitous path in life.

more about me

Hey there!

oh la la!

"It's like DG is reading my mind! Every time I get an email from them, its exactly what I needed to hear."
- Jennifer West

Join the gang!

We've built a HUGE library of Growth & Wellbeing Resources for women just like you.  And we save all the best bits for our PenPals
 (AKA the Newsletter crew!)

So save yourself from unbearable FOMO and sign up below 



Get Our Free Guide to Kicking Ass on Social

Taiyaki occupy farm-to-table swag fashion axe four loko. Church-key palo santo selvage helvetica iceland tumblr.




"Margi's guide was kick-ass indeed and quite literally changed how I show up on social." - Jen Olmstead

oh la la!



follow along 
on Instagram:



@TheDailyGUru >

© MArgarita Coaching 2020  |  Design by Tonic  |  Photos by social squares & Unsplash