What our Behaviour Really Means!

18 . 07 . 2019

Your Free Spirit Animal ScreenSaverS!
MONTHLY SELF-Coaching worksheets
Downloadable Recipe Cards by Jess Sepel
Now Trending:
I'm Rebecca!

Welcome to DG! We are a Coaching Hub for Women!  Over the past 7 years we've created a huge library of Articles, Guides, Coaching Resources and Courses, to help women grow & thrive in their own life.  We hope you enjoy exploring the site x


Listen to our #1 Confidence Podcast

Tune in

Explore our latest episodes of The 'C' Bomb

Written By

Belinda Williams

Have you ever considered how the ways you treat yourself and others are surprisingly similar?

As far back as the Bible, it has been espoused that we should treat others as we would want to be treated.

But this, perhaps, looks only at the inter-relationship between people.

What about the intra — the importance of how you want to treat yourself?

Consider treating yourself as you would treat others.

You would be excused right now if you had an image of intersecting arrows going in a multitude of different directions. Me to her, her to me, me to me.


What we are bringing attention to is the interrelation between our interactions with our self and our interactions with others.

Commonly, we find a pattern emerging.

Consider this:

How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.



There are two important things to note here:


  1. If we can improve the quality of our relationship with ourselves, we can improve the quality of our relationship with others.
  2. How others treat us is not always a reflection of us.



Given people are commonly more motivated by how others perceive them. Rather than by cultivating qualities of self-compassion and kindness towards the self. We can look to the well-being of our relationships as an indicator of our own well-being.


Let’s look at three simple ways to attend to this in a way that will benefit both the self and our relationships with others.


Listen to what ‘that’ voice is saying

Tap into your internal dialogue — what is the quality of the voice?

Is it punitive? Harsh? Unforgiving?

Or do you offer yourself compassion, forgiveness and kindness?

Knowing the baseline of your emotional tone will help you understand how far you need to shift the needle. It may also give you a good indication of how you interact with others (knowingly or not.)


Name that voice and the story it is telling you

For example, if Jane finds she is constantly let down by people around her, she may notice that the recurring story in her mind is ‘not good enough’.

She can notice the frequency of how often this is popping up and ask the question, “is this accurate or am I projecting rigid expectations that I hold myself to, onto others?

By noticing this pattern and naming the story, she can achieve some distance and space from the automatic reaction of disappointment, frustration and anger. By pausing and labeling, she has the opportunity to intersect the automatic judgment and question whether it is valid and compassionate and aligned with the friend, acquaintance, work colleague, and importantly, individual she wants to be.



Love and kindness meditations offer the simple practice of directing well wishes towards self and other people. They are simple, short and easy based on the repetition of wishes of compassion.

This does far more than give you a momentary boost of feeling good. The research has shown that it improves your ability to access positive emotion at a higher frequency and also provides an increased sense of purpose. Connection to others and even reduces illness —I’ll take that over a Prozac anyway! Various versions of love and kindness meditation can be found all over the Internet.


Barbara Fredrickson, a thought leader in the study of positive emotion, offers a number of free meditations through her Positivity Resonates website.

By building greater awareness, you can then work on developing compassion, love and kindness that radiates inwards. From within, you can find happiness and then radiate it around and light up the world.


Icon: Leaf


For more guidance and support on how to enhance your wellbeing, please head over to The Whole Being Group website.

Share this:
Journal Prompts

A hugely valuable personal growth tool is the use of Journal Prompts. Bringing awareness to our most common thoughts and consciously choosing to reprioritize, refocus, and redirect these thoughts, can have the most profound impact on our life and emotional wellbeing – especially during these challenging times of late. However, at times, journalling can feel […]

50 Journal Prompts For Self-Discovery


read more

I’m not much of a fan of exercising. In fact, I quite often hate it. What I do love however, is exercising my vagina — or to be more specific — my pelvic floor muscles. Why? Because it allows me to have epic sex and incredible orgasms. Exercising your pelvic floor muscles with a simple […]

The Best Sexercise You Can Do


read more

We all experience fear and anxiety at times. It’s a completely natural and helpful human emotion that helps us respond to danger — an automatic alarm that goes off in a challenging situation where we feel threatened, pressured or stressed. We feel it when we’re about to jump on a roller coaster. When we’re gearing […]

Behaviours That Contribute To Anxiety


read more

ARE YOU IN A MAZE? Are you feeling like you’re at a stage in your life where you’re not where you thought you’d be? Maybe you’re reflecting on others thinking they seem to have it all and you’re not even close?? Or maybe you’re just feeling a little feeling lost? You might have a million things […]

Feeling lost? How to find your way out!


read more

Have you ever considered how the ways you treat yourself and others are surprisingly similar? As far back as the Bible, it has been espoused that we should treat others as we would want to be treated. But this, perhaps, looks only at the inter-relationship between people. What about the intra — the importance of […]

What our Behaviour Really Means!


read more

  CARRY ON FLOURISHING   It’s been a bit of a whirlwind adventure with our “flourish” series and we hope you’ve loved it as much as we have!   So far, we’ve covered: How to flourish at home How to boost your energy and motivation Relationship rehab How to prepare for meaningful action How to […]



read more

New Year Resolutions… We have made it to 2021! Well done. Last year was anything but easy. 2020 presented us all with challenges, abrupt change, and transitions, amongst many other things, and you made it through. As you reflect on the last year, there are things you may want to leave behind, while there may […]

Embracing Rhythms Over Resolutions

Personal Growth

read more
Design your day

“Wonderful. Productive. Smooth. Successful.” This is how we want to be able to respond when someone asks us, “How was your day?” With everything on our plate, those words often seem unrealistic.  But despite our waking hours being filled with a rush of activity that has the potential to send us into a state of […]

How To Design Your Day

Personal Growth

read more

10 years from now, where will you be? Have a clue? Not quite sure at all? That’s ok. Like a fortune-teller with her crystal ball in hand, you too can look into your future now and see the life you are manifesting. Here’s how you can quite simply predict where you will be in 10 […]

Where Will You Be 10 Years From Now?

Personal Growth

read more

  When life gets busy or you find that one area of your life is demanding a lot of your time and energy, it’s easy to find yourself out of balance and not paying enough attention to what’s most important in your life. While you need to have drive and direction, too much can create […]

Finding Balance In Our Busy Lives

Personal Growth

read more

Your head strongly insists on taking the job. Running the marathon. Leaving the relationship. But your heart… well, your vehemently disagrees. Have you been tied up in the limbo of your head and heart? Paralysed by indecision because you don’t know what’s right?     The heart whispers but when it does, the message is […]


Personal Growth

read more

We all get lost from time to time. We all forget who we really are when life throws a spanner (or three) into the works. Faced with choices to start and end relationships, to travel the world, to follow the hunch or to leave it, to start a family or maybe to close your business […]


Personal Growth

read more

I'm Rebecca Sparks
Founder of The Daily Guru, Confidence & Life Transition Coach, Speaker, Podcaster, Educator, Adventurer & Goal-Getter!

My mission is to help women believe and invest in themselves and  to help them to carve out their own exciting and fortuitous path in life.

more about me

Hey there!

oh la la!

"It's like DG is reading my mind! Every time I get an email from them, its exactly what I needed to hear."
- Jennifer West

Join the gang!

We've built a HUGE library of Growth & Wellbeing Resources for women just like you.  And we save all the best bits for our PenPals
 (AKA the Newsletter crew!)

So save yourself from unbearable FOMO and sign up below 



Get Our Free Guide to Kicking Ass on Social

Taiyaki occupy farm-to-table swag fashion axe four loko. Church-key palo santo selvage helvetica iceland tumblr.




"Margi's guide was kick-ass indeed and quite literally changed how I show up on social." - Jen Olmstead

oh la la!



follow along 
on Instagram:



@TheDailyGUru >

© MArgarita Coaching 2020  |  Design by Tonic  |  Photos by social squares & Unsplash