Adversity

Why losing yourself is the cure to your life crisis!

8 . 07 . 2020

Your Free Spirit Animal ScreenSaverS!
MONTHLY SELF-Coaching worksheets
Downloadable Recipe Cards by Jess Sepel
Now Trending:
I'm Rebecca!

Welcome to DG! We are a Coaching Hub for Women!  Over the past 7 years we've created a huge library of Articles, Guides, Coaching Resources and Courses, to help women grow & thrive in their own life.  We hope you enjoy exploring the site x

hello,

Listen to our #1 Confidence Podcast

Tune in

Explore our latest episodes of The 'C' Bomb

Written By

Sharon Kirstin

The other day I was watching a Netflix series when I had a soul-touching epiphany. You know, the kind where the grey veil of illusion is lifted from the world and you’re flooded with an experience of color and clarity that you didn’t even know existed. You simply get it.

The series is called “Limitless” and tells the story of a struggling musician who turns FBI consultant. Sounds strange, but he’s got a superpower. When he takes a small transparent pill called NZT he receives access to 100% of his brain function and morphs into a crime-solving genius.

The interesting part was that he’s finally the version of himself that he’s always wanted to be. No more slacking, no more struggling and no more procrastination. He feels on purpose. He’s living his full potential.

Sounds like something we all want, right? Yet, his enhanced identity throws him into an identity crisis. The more NZT he takes, the more it feels like he’s losing himself. He’s a better version, yes. But different from how his family and friends knew him.

That’s when Bradley Cooper’s character pops the question that made the heaven’s part for me. It kept echoing through my mind: “Why do you want to hold on to your old self before NZT so badly?”

Why do we hold on to our (old) “self” so badly?

In the personal development community, we’re aware that parts of our character, behavior or mindset are not supporting the achievement of our life goals. Whether it’s in the areas of love, career or health, we intuitively know we need to change in order to get the improved results we desire, don’t we?

Einstein gave us a sparkly pearl of wisdom when he gave us the definition of insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

So, isn’t it intriguing to discover why we don’t reinvent ourselves more often? Why do we stay loyal to our bad habits and disempowering thoughts when we know they hurt us and keep us from the fulfilling life we actually desire?

Where does our identity come from?

All information about our self is safely stored in the 90% of our identity that we have little conscious control over, our subconscious mind.

Scientists say we’re operating in theta brainwave until the age of 7. Theta is the frequency that allows deep programming because information enters our subconscious without having to pass any filters. This means we’re a sponge and whatever ideas are presented to us and whatever feelings are triggered, they stick with us through life.

All of our life’s experiences become part of our identity. We’ve been conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves, society and life. We’ve also been exposed to situations that felt good or not so good, and we’ve drawn our conclusions from them. From early on we had to make tough decisions that will guarantee our survival because we needed the care of our family. Even seemingly small incidents from an adult point of view can cause a child to create a coping mechanism that is limiting its full self-expression throughout life.

What “self” are we so desperately holding on to?

Our identity is quite bluntly a more or less random selection of conditioned beliefs and programs that have happened to us in life. We’re not created by design, instead, we’re the sum of our life experiences and what we made those mean for us.

Let this sink in…

You’re not who you believe you are.

You are not your current identity.

What you really are is a bundle of creative energy that can choose who you want to be. You choose your identity. Your past doesn’t define you. Every moment you have the opportunity to make new choices and with it create a new version of yourself.

Quick recap:

You’re not designed by intention: Your identity is a random selection of conditioned beliefs and programs that happened to you in life so this means you don’t need to over-identify with your past self.

You can design with intention: You have the creative energy of the whole universe inside of you and the power of free will choice in order to consciously redesign yourself.

If you have the ability to reinvent yourself at any given moment in time in order to align with your true soul- and purposeful expression, why not lose yourself (at least some parts) and consciously redesign yourself?

How to Redesign Yourself

We can’t fill a full glass of water, so first, we need to uncreate the parts of us that no longer serve the accomplishment of our goals.

It’s not that anything is wrong with who we are. This is a conscious choice of becoming the most powerful version of ourselves that is in full alignment with our soul purpose. And here is how you do this;

Your old identity: Let’s make a list of character traits and behaviors that are not in alignment with one or more of your life goals. Take a piece paper, write “[Your name]’s Old Identity” on top and set a 10-minute timer. use the time to free write everything that comes to mind without censoring your thoughts. Once you’re done, mark the traits that you’d like to uncreate with an X.

Redesign yourself: Pick a new piece of paper. On top of the page write “[Your Name]’s Identity” and place it next to your first sheet. Now turn all the character traits that you’ve marked to “uncreate” into empowering character traits and write them down on the new sheet of paper. It’s worth it to note down all the details from your fashion style, where you live, your lifestyle all the way to how you behave and feel each day. For instance, if your old identity was “procrastinates”, then your new identity can be “takes a small or big action immediately upon making a choice.”

Making it stick: Writing this down won’t make any difference unless you act on it. If you’ve done this right, most of the points on your “New Identity” list are far out of your comfort zone. That’s great! Your task now is to do things you usually don’t do. Your job is to get comfortable being uncomfortable. You can experiment with creating a vision board as a reminder of your new self. Or you can create affirmations to imprint your new beliefs in your subconscious mind. Yet, nothing will work unless you uncreate your old identity by taking new action and making new choices.

 

It may be scary to think that we lose our own identity. But isn’t it worth it to let go of the past when the outcome promises a life by design that can truly set our soul on fire?

To help you with this process we have a FREE
Design Yourself Worksheet for you to follow.
Simply enter your details below + we’ll pop one over to you.

IF YOU HAVE AN ARTICLE TOPIC YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE ON THE DAILY GURU, CLICK HERE

Share this:
Journal Prompts

A hugely valuable personal growth tool is the use of Journal Prompts. Bringing awareness to our most common thoughts and consciously choosing to reprioritize, refocus, and redirect these thoughts, can have the most profound impact on our life and emotional wellbeing – especially during these challenging times of late. However, at times, journalling can feel […]

50 Journal Prompts For Self-Discovery

Emotional+Wellbeing

read more

I’m not much of a fan of exercising. In fact, I quite often hate it. What I do love however, is exercising my vagina — or to be more specific — my pelvic floor muscles. Why? Because it allows me to have epic sex and incredible orgasms. Exercising your pelvic floor muscles with a simple […]

The Best Sexercise You Can Do

Emotional+Wellbeing

read more

We all experience fear and anxiety at times. It’s a completely natural and helpful human emotion that helps us respond to danger — an automatic alarm that goes off in a challenging situation where we feel threatened, pressured or stressed. We feel it when we’re about to jump on a roller coaster. When we’re gearing […]

Behaviours That Contribute To Anxiety

Emotional+Wellbeing

read more

ARE YOU IN A MAZE? Are you feeling like you’re at a stage in your life where you’re not where you thought you’d be? Maybe you’re reflecting on others thinking they seem to have it all and you’re not even close?? Or maybe you’re just feeling a little feeling lost? You might have a million things […]

Feeling lost? How to find your way out!

Emotional+Wellbeing

read more

Have you ever considered how the ways you treat yourself and others are surprisingly similar? As far back as the Bible, it has been espoused that we should treat others as we would want to be treated. But this, perhaps, looks only at the inter-relationship between people. What about the intra — the importance of […]

What our Behaviour Really Means!

Emotional+Wellbeing

read more

  CARRY ON FLOURISHING   It’s been a bit of a whirlwind adventure with our “flourish” series and we hope you’ve loved it as much as we have!   So far, we’ve covered: How to flourish at home How to boost your energy and motivation Relationship rehab How to prepare for meaningful action How to […]

IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO FLOURISH – PART SIX

Emotional+Wellbeing

read more

New Year Resolutions… We have made it to 2021! Well done. Last year was anything but easy. 2020 presented us all with challenges, abrupt change, and transitions, amongst many other things, and you made it through. As you reflect on the last year, there are things you may want to leave behind, while there may […]

Embracing Rhythms Over Resolutions

Personal Growth

read more
Design your day

“Wonderful. Productive. Smooth. Successful.” This is how we want to be able to respond when someone asks us, “How was your day?” With everything on our plate, those words often seem unrealistic.  But despite our waking hours being filled with a rush of activity that has the potential to send us into a state of […]

How To Design Your Day

Personal Growth

read more

10 years from now, where will you be? Have a clue? Not quite sure at all? That’s ok. Like a fortune-teller with her crystal ball in hand, you too can look into your future now and see the life you are manifesting. Here’s how you can quite simply predict where you will be in 10 […]

Where Will You Be 10 Years From Now?

Personal Growth

read more

  When life gets busy or you find that one area of your life is demanding a lot of your time and energy, it’s easy to find yourself out of balance and not paying enough attention to what’s most important in your life. While you need to have drive and direction, too much can create […]

Finding Balance In Our Busy Lives

Personal Growth

read more

Your head strongly insists on taking the job. Running the marathon. Leaving the relationship. But your heart… well, your vehemently disagrees. Have you been tied up in the limbo of your head and heart? Paralysed by indecision because you don’t know what’s right?     The heart whispers but when it does, the message is […]

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR HEAD & HEART CANNOT AGREE

Personal Growth

read more

We all get lost from time to time. We all forget who we really are when life throws a spanner (or three) into the works. Faced with choices to start and end relationships, to travel the world, to follow the hunch or to leave it, to start a family or maybe to close your business […]

HOW TO REDISCOVER THE REAL YOU

Personal Growth

read more

I'm Rebecca Sparks
Founder of The Daily Guru, Confidence & Life Transition Coach, Speaker, Podcaster, Educator, Adventurer & Goal-Getter!

My mission is to help women believe and invest in themselves and  to help them to carve out their own exciting and fortuitous path in life.

more about me

Hey there!

oh la la!

"It's like DG is reading my mind! Every time I get an email from them, its exactly what I needed to hear."
- Jennifer West

Join the gang!

We've built a HUGE library of Growth & Wellbeing Resources for women just like you.  And we save all the best bits for our PenPals
 (AKA the Newsletter crew!)

So save yourself from unbearable FOMO and sign up below 

SIGN UP

FOR OUR WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Get Our Free Guide to Kicking Ass on Social

Taiyaki occupy farm-to-table swag fashion axe four loko. Church-key palo santo selvage helvetica iceland tumblr.

GET THAT DOWNLOAD

Email

Name

"Margi's guide was kick-ass indeed and quite literally changed how I show up on social." - Jen Olmstead

oh la la!

Home
About
COACHING
ARTICLES

THE DAILY GURU

follow along 
on Instagram:

SEND ME A NOTE >

GET ON THE LIST >

@TheDailyGUru >

© MArgarita Coaching 2020  |  Design by Tonic  |  Photos by social squares & Unsplash

podcast