Why being a people pleaser won’t get you the relationships and respect you desire!

As you read this, keep in mind that we have to first please ourselves in order to have a genuinely positive influence on someone else.

Satisfaction will always flow outward, not inward, and the more prominent feelings and effects cultivated by a true sense of satisfaction are contagious. It’s okay to want the people around you to feel good, and it’s incredibly important that we are willing to help others. And being kind that doesn’t mean we are acting a people pleaser but constantly serving others can make any helpful experience feel unnatural both ways. It’s easy for others to fall into needing “the pleaser” too much and too often, and for “the pleaser” to transform into more of a useful tool rather than a real person.

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Living as a people pleaser can leave us eventually feeling disrespected, dismissed, and disconnected — not only from other people, but from our daily lives and from ourselves.

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There’s nothing wrong with doing good deeds for others. It’s a huge part of being a decent human, and it’s huge part of what we do for the people we love and those who love and need us. Dishing out valuable energy, time, effort, and even money is how most people contribute to society as a whole — how we often give back to our community.

But losing perspective about how much and how often we give ourselves may take us into a space where the balance of what is healthy and what is being done for the wrong reasons is totally shifted.

If the items above resonate with you, even a little, you may be on your way to feeling emotionally burned out because you’re trying way too hard to please others.


Being a people pleaser may feel great because it makes you feel appreciated and loved. And as long as you’re receiving those compliments and gratification, you may not even think twice about going out of your way for people. Read more about striking a balance between being kind and developing a care taker role here.

But when you’re a people pleaser, you’re not really developing any true relationships.

Start believing in yourself more, take baby steps to gain traction in your self motivation. And most importantly, understand that you are an individual and sometimes, that’s best described as simply as, you are who you are. Remember, you do not need approval or compliments to embrace, embody, and exude your self worth.

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