Every relationship is different. If we were all asked to suddenly conduct our relationships in exactly the same way, not only would life become quite boring, but many of us would not be very happy. So different is good.
What is not good is bad habits in a relationship which can end up having a negative impact on a couple. So to overcome this, there are some behavioural relationship rules which can mean the difference between ‘Happy ever after’ and ‘The end’. Want to know the difference? Here they are…
If your partner were to expect you to do everything their way all the time this would be an issue for you – right? So it’s understandable if this situation were reversed, they too would be quite unhappy. So how do two people live together and still get what they want? With a little compromise. Decide what you are happy to be flexible on and adjust. It’s important to stay true to your own values, so if you need to stay firm on a decision or two… that’s fine, but your partner needs to see you are happy to meet them halfway, if in return you would like the same response.
When we put so much love, trust and respect into a person, at times we can then hold them accountable to every word, action and response they make – as if they were supposed to be perfect. But they aren’t. They are human just like you and I. So when they make mistakes, instead of being disappointed and feeling let down – recognise that this is the time they need your support the most. I’m sure they did not want to make a mistake – so try not to see it that way, nor take it personally.
If your relationship is strong and you see a future together, you should be able to bring up the tough stuff. And recognise that if it’s a tough conversation to have, it probably won’t go quite as smoothly as asking “would you like an ice cream?” They are called tough conversations because…they are tough. So enter the conversation with a calm mind, open heart and a willingness to come out the other side stronger as a couple.
If you have different opinions, which is perfectly fine, make sure you show that you value and respect what your partner’s opinions are. No one likes the feeling of being ignored or shunned – especially by a partner! So it’s important to pay attention and have respect for what your partner has to say.
It’s impossible to keep up the grand gestures all the time. Fancy dinners or luxury vacations are wonderful, but love does not have a dollar value. If given the option between a weekly sunset walk or an annual vacation, the majority would pick the weekly walk. Money does not show love. Gestures show love. A free gesture also holds value, so try to find simple daily gestures to show your partner how much you care.
If the other person hurts you in a relationship, hurting them back on purpose will likely destroy your relationship. If you feel the need to ‘get back at’ the person you’re with, take some time to figure out why you’re responding this way. Maybe their action has reignited an old relationship wound from the past…or perhaps you have been very hurt by their actions. Either way…take time to figure out WHY, and then talk it through with your partner.
There is nothing worse than getting into the habit of your partner asking “is everything OK?” and your response being “I’m fine” AND THEN getting upset that your partner isn’t being empathetic/doesn’t understand/doesn’t seem to care. If something is wrong – say it is wrong. Hoping that your partner will pick up on non-verbal cues, while your verbal communication is saying everything is ‘fine’, is nonsense and energy sapping. Let’s remove all the games and just tell the truth. It’s far more rewarding for both parties – trust us!
Honesty is key – plain and simple. Once jealousy and distrust enter a relationship they can spread like weeds…so the way to avoid this happening is to always be honest and treat your partner as you wish to be treated.
As always- we love to hear your thoughts and suggestions- so don’t forget to say hi below and share your observations!