Meet the muscle that is sabotaging your fitness results!

Sep 6

Written By

Kristina Deminick

Screen Shot 2018 09 17 at 8.53.17 am

Meet the muscle that is sabotaging your fitness results!



What is that muscle we’re talking about? Do you feel like you have your exercise routine on point and a food intake which would have a nutritionist giving you a high five, but you are still not seeing results in your weight loss? You might just be missing the “trick” from your hat-trick. And let me tell you, it’s something so simple that it may indeed feel like a trick. You are not flexing the biggest muscle in your body – your mind.

The way you act, you attract.

The energy you bring to your exercise (and the words you use about it) can directly affect your results. If you go into your workout cursing that you had to get up early, that it’s a “necessary torture”, that you “love to hate it”, then you are surrounding your experience with negative energy. Release this story of suffering!

The same goes for food. “I’ll be good and order the salad.” “I fell off the bandwagon and ate some chocolate.” Sound familiar? This type of talk is not honouring yourself in an energetic sense. And hint: there is no bandwagon unless you create one. Get off it now and walk proudly and wholeheartedly on your own two feet. Health and fitness is a destination you earn the right to get into; it’s a process and it’s already yours right now! Honour yourself for your commitments, achievements, and obstacles and ENJOY it along the way!

Life is way more fun when you come at it from positivity and joy, build your muscle – your mind. Play along. Your mind and body are on the same team, so trust in them rather than pit them against each other. Work with your body rather than against it and your results will follow.

Our behavior and attitude communicates our values to the world around us, and people tend to respond accordingly. We signal whether we are open-minded or closed-off, generous or selfish, passionate or apathetic. Our reputation often precedes us – if we act with kindness and thoughtfulness, those around us will mirror these behaviors in order to please us. Conversely, if we approach others with hostility and disinterest, they may be put off by our demeanor.

Tangible tip: Give yourself an internal high five every time you walk into the gym. Or look yourself dead in the eye in the mirror and say aloud “You are freaking kick-ass!” Acknowledge yourself for the things you can do, rather than focusing on the things you can’t.


I’ll tell you a secret. Weight loss goals are never just about the weight. Ask yourself this question and I bet you’ll quickly find there is a whole other “why” behind your desire to lose weight. Everyone has their own personal “why” for wanting to shed extra pounds, and exploring this reasoning can help you unlock what really motivates your journey.

Digging deep into why you have decided to pursue weight loss goals can give you an incredible insight into yourself, allowing you to take control of the process and begin on the path to achieving your ideal body. By determining your personal reason for wanting to lose weight, it grants you the ability to look at yourself from a different angle and truly understand why this goal means so much to you.

Taking time to analyze your motivations can also prevent self-sabotaging behaviors such as yo-yo dieting or unrealistic expectations. Reaching for a healthier version of yourself is admirable and understanding why you want it makes it easier to create an actionable path forward.

How do you want to FEEL?

Tap into the the emotions behind what you want, rather than “I want to lose my love handles”,  “I don’t want to look so scrawny”, or “I won’t be successful enough until I lose 5kg”, and your experience will be inherently more positive. Our weight loss goals are often fuelled by feelings of not being enough, or of believing we have to change something physical in order to be better. We can even find ourselves being fuelled by a hatred of our current bodies.

With these thoughts in our heads as we’re bicep curling, boxing, and running, it’s no wonder our bodies don’t want to play ball! It’s like continually telling a person you don’t like them and then expecting them to be your best friend! You only get one body and you certainly can’t hate your way into loving it, so ditch the weight loss guilt-trips and instead set goals that are first and foremost to FEEL good.

Tangible tip: Write down a list of how you’d like to feel living in your body – vibrant, sexy, confident, or energetic and use these as your motivating fuel. Stick them as post-it notes on your fridge, lunchbox, screensaver of your phone, or in your gym bag as a reminder.

Comparison is an ugly game.

I bet we’ve all shared that moment when we see somebody else in the gym, or the food the person next to you ordered for lunch, and your inner critic pipes up “Roll up! Roll up! It’s time to play the comparison game!” Feelings of not doing, being, or achieving enough can drown your positive mindset and you might wind up doubting all your amazing work.

It’s time to come back to honouring your kick-ass self, or to use the wise words of Dr Seuss “no-one is youer than you”. Remember that it’s not just your body or the way you look which gives you your unique, electric spark. So if your energy is not feeling aligned, don’t blame your weight, other people, competition or intimidation.

What is it you are not facing? Dig deep. Sit with the discomfort. Is it fear of not being good enough? Fear of humiliation? Perfectionism? A feeling of not receiving love in your life? Dissatisfaction with your career? Stress about your finances? Once you uncover what is truly driving your comparison game, you can choose to stop playing.

Tangible tip: Every time you notice yourself comparing yourself to someone else, close your eyes and take one deep breath in, and actively exhale the comparison outlet that person and what they have float away.. Open your eyes and give yourself one simple compliment by saying aloud or in your head “I just wanted to tell you that I think you…[insert compliment!]”

Rest does not equal ruin.

We all say we take rest days, but I bet over 50% of you don’t. You get into a routine, and the more you visit the gym the more reward in results you get, right? Wrong. Your trainer will preach about the importance of rest days for a reason. Your body needs them to recuperate and to rebuild muscle stronger and more capable of carrying you through your next session. And reward? Weight loss should not be the reward, it is the by-product.

The real reward is the feelings you identified in Tip #2, and you will not be feeling vibrant and energetic if you’re out of action for 3 days because you refused to give it a rest. Not to mention the myriad of mental mind f***s a severe injury will play on you! A little tenderness when walking upstairs is good pain, being downright out of action is not. Honour and respect the importance of rest and modification.

If you need to take it down a notch, do not be discouraged – this is a sign of strength and awareness in your body. As a trainer I commend a client for making a modification when it’s needed.

Tangible tip: Come up with a “rest day ritual” which involves doing something that truly electrifies you, to make the day feel just as motivating as your exercise. Take a bath, go for a picnic, paint, practice your guitar. Ignite your spark.


Share this Post

stop negative thinking

3 Simple Words to Stop Negative Thinking How do you break out of the spiral of negative thinking and be able to focus on something else…something more productive? Sometimes, this phrase is all you need. As we know negative thinking can all so easily lead to repetitive thought patterns known as negative thought spirals. A […]

3 Simple Words to Stop Negative Thinking in its Tracks!


read more
6 Types of Friendships

The 6 Types of Friendships that can be Bad for your Health! Emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping or constant criticism are key signs to look out for when working out if a relationship is toxic. Unhealthy relationships can also cycle through destructive patterns. One common scenario is where there is no giving back or no gratitude from […]

6 Types of Friendships That Are Bad for Emotional Health


read more
Dealing with Loss

How do we deal with Loss and grief? Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. For many, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. Many can experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from anger, shock to disbelief, guilt, […]

How To Move On After The Loss Of A Loved One


read more
5 actions out of bad mood WP min

From time to time, we all find ourselves in a bad mood… Low spirits. Moping. The blues. Whether it’s there when we wake in the morning, or triggered by a comment, thought or incident throughout our day, the sullen state of mind and feeling we’re left in is pretty icky. We get stuck in a […]



read more
Essentials of a fulfilling life

What are the Unexpected Essentials for a fulfilling life?  Do you know what the ‘essentials’ are in life so that you can live a fulfilling lifestyle?  Firstly let’s agree that fulfilment and happiness are subjective.  They are a state of mind—on how we feel about ourselves and our life. In this sense, anything we do […]

The 18 Unexpected Essentials for a fulfilling life


read more
Stress tips

Stress is a common emotion that most people will feel at some point in their lives. From the stress of exams as a teenager to the stress of planning a wedding, there are typical life events and moments in life that most people will experience. Stress is an inevitable part of life and understanding why […]

9 Stress Busting Tips For The Super Stressed Out!


read more
Essentials of a fulfilling life

What are the Unexpected Essentials for a fulfilling life?  Do you know what the ‘essentials’ are in life so that you can live a fulfilling lifestyle?  Firstly let’s agree that fulfilment and happiness are subjective.  They are a state of mind—on how we feel about ourselves and our life. In this sense, anything we do […]

The 18 Unexpected Essentials for a fulfilling life

Personal Growth

read more
Ultimate Reading list

This is our Ultimate Reading list  – for those who are deeply interested in Self Development and on-going growth in their life. These books are real game changers! We often get asked what are some of the best books we have read in various categories based on many the hours of reading and research we […]

The Ultimate Reading List for those who love Self Development

Personal Growth

read more
Design your day

How to Design Your Day

The Surprising Way To Design Your Day

Personal Growth

read more
Embracing Rhythms Over Resolutions

New Year Resolutions… We have made it to 2021! Well done. Last year was anything but easy. 2020 presented us all with challenges, abrupt change, and transitions, amongst many other things, and you made it through. As you reflect on the last year, there are things you may want to leave behind, while there may […]

Embracing Rhythms Over Resolutions

Personal Growth

read more
evan phillip 268078 unsplash scaled

Think ahead to 10 years from now, where will you be….? Have no clue? Not quite sure at all? That’s ok. Like a fortune-teller with her crystal ball in hand, you too can look into your future now and see the life you are manifesting. Here’s how you can quite simply predict where you will […]

Where Will You Be 10 Years From Now?

Personal Growth

read more
21 min

  When life gets busy or you find that one area of your life is demanding a lot of your time and energy, it’s easy to find yourself out of balance and not paying enough attention to what’s most important in your life. While you need to have drive and direction, too much can create […]

Finding Balance In Our Busy Lives

Personal Growth

read more

I'm Rebecca Sparks - Founder of The Daily Guru. I'm also a Self Development Coach,
a Speaker and a Podcaster. 

What drives me most in life is a fascination & curiosity with how we can make the most of our short time here on this planet.  How do we make our lives feel meaningful? How can we make life feel fulfilling?  And how can we turn these elements into a lifestyle? 

My mission is to help women explore these topics and to design a life that taps into all of their essentials.

more about me

Hey there!

oh la la!

"It's like DG is reading my mind! Every time I get an email from them, its exactly what I needed to hear."
- Jennifer West

Join the gang!

We've built a HUGE library of Growth & Wellbeing Resources for women just like you.  And we save all the best bits for our PenPals
 (AKA the Newsletter crew!)

So save yourself from unbearable FOMO and sign up below 



Get Our Free Guide to Kicking Ass on Social

Taiyaki occupy farm-to-table swag fashion axe four loko. Church-key palo santo selvage helvetica iceland tumblr.




"Margi's guide was kick-ass indeed and quite literally changed how I show up on social." - Jen Olmstead

oh la la!



follow along 
on Instagram:



@TheDailyGUru >

© MArgarita Coaching 2020  |  Design by Tonic  |  Photos by social squares & Unsplash