Love+Relationships

HOW TO STOP FIGHTING WITH YOUR PARTNER

2 . 11 . 2016

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When it comes to love, marriage and romantic relationships, conflict is often a part of the equation.

You know how it can be. One minute, you’re all loved up and in a sweet, state of swoon. Next minute, one of you is asleep on the proverbial couch after a shared moment of white-hot rage.B-5

But the thing is, while a bit of volatility in a relationship is natural, disagreements don’t have to be destructive.

In fact, it’s entirely possible to navigate differing needs, opinions and emotions and resolve issues without locking horns with your lover.

Here are some of the ways:

NO1

Shake it off, first

If you find yourself on the brink of a fight, take some time to cool down before you lash out in the heat of the moment.

Deal with your stress first — and allow your partner to do the same. Get out of your head and back into your body. Go for a walk, listen to some music or make a cup of tea.

When you’ve calmed down, you’ll be able to approach the issue with a level head.

NO2

Pick your battles

We all feel anger, but whether or not we act on it is up to us.

You see, fighting with your partner over not taking the rubbish out most likely isn’t worth it. Going four months without a single date night, on the other hand, may be an issue worth raising.

Decide where your line of conflict —the line between letting go and engaging in conflict — should be.

If you’re feeling triggered, as yourself, “is this situation really so dire it needs to be addressed?” Your answer will help you avoid regrettable actions.

Remember what’s important and always choose love over menial problems.

NO3

Aim for a solution, together

If your goal is to hurt your other half or to simply let off some steam, you’re fighting for the wrong reasons. Every single argument should aim to improve an area of your relationship.

You want to have a productive debate — not an emotionally charged screaming match.

So, instead of pitting yourselves against each other and expecting a winner and a loser, your goal for each and every conflicting situation should be to focus on a solution — together.

Be collaborative and try some side-by-side problem solving. Seek to understand your partner’s point of view and allow them to express their own concerns.

NO4

Take action

Once you’ve found a way to resolve the issue, be sure to take action to ensure the same conflict doesn’t arise again. You see, if nothing changes, you’ll be having the same old conversation tomorrow.

Clearly establish what needs to change and work hard to establish some new habits, together.

NO5

Prioritise happiness

Bringing more love into a relationship will eventually crowd out conflict and disagreements, because what you focus on expands.

Put more effort into the things that make your relationship thrive. Book in some regular date nights. Make a romantic gesture. Be more affectionate and intimate.

Do the things that remind you why you even fell in love in the first place and soon enough, you’ll be too content to argue.

BK13

Have you overcome some troubling times in your relationship? How did you learn to avoid conflict? Share with us in the comments below!

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Founder of The Daily Guru, Confidence & Life Transition Coach, Speaker, Podcaster, Educator, Adventurer & Goal-Getter!

My mission is to help women believe and invest in themselves and  to help them to carve out their own exciting and fortuitous path in life.

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