How to bridge the gap between fear of failure and living an authentic life?
This is a question so many of you are asking. It sounds like a good question to ask ourselves, that gap
between where you are now and where you want to be can feel like it is very real and something that deserves your time and attention.
The thing is, we all feel fear, self-doubt and worry. We are all concerned about what others will think or us if we step out and live that life we know we are designed to live. We are all worried about the risk of failure and of not being good enough. Our fear is not unique. It is part of the deal when it comes to being human!
The fear and self-doubt is normal, and it isn’t going anywhere. It is also not the real issue we should be talking about.
The real issue? What really deserves our attention?
The idea that there is some magic solution that will bridge the gap. The idea that confidence will someday arrive on the back of a unicorn and that then we will step out and live our own authentic life.
The real issue is our false belief that this fear and self-doubt is something to be acted upon, or for most of us, something that warrants our inaction. That it is a worthy excuse for denying our dreams. It’s not our fault. So many of us have been told that we should go with our, ‘gut’ and do what, ‘feels right’. As little girls fear for many of us was something we were encouraged to act upon, it was seen as ‘cute’.
The problem is that we all too often react to these emotions without any self-inquiry. This is the kiss of death to your dreams, to knowing your potential and possibility.
If I followed my gut without any real reflection, 99% of the time the result would have me drunk and eating corn chips in front of the television.
If I waited to feel confident before I did anything new, I would still be crawling around on the floor like I was at age 6 months.
If I only took action in the absence of self-doubt, I would have never created the life I have today. We want a roadmap, a recipe, a proven way to ‘slay our fear’ and ‘master self-doubt’, but there is no magic potion.
The solution is very simple.
Take action and start walking with that fear and self-doubt and worry all on board.
Courage is not the absence of fear, it is fear walking.
If you are a human being on this planet and you are genuinely grateful for the life you have, the opportunity you have, the potential you have within you, then you have a desire for more. You desire growth and you want to create and contribute more.
Maybe it is in your business, your family or your relationship. Perhaps it is in your health or your environment.
Every single one of us has within us a desire to evolve.
The challenge is to own it, name it, commit to it and then start walking.
Maybe you will fail, maybe you will stumble, but the alternative is to choose to live a life indifferent to the dreams you have, driven by other peoples’ expectations and never truly knowing who you are and what you are capable of.
Waiting until you feel ready is the single biggest mistake you can make because it is the kiss of death to your dreams. If you decide to keep waiting for confidence, you will be waiting a very, very long time.
It is ok to not feel confident. In fact, if you don’t feel some fear I suggest your dreams are not big enough.
What you need to do is decide what it is you want, commit to it 100% and start walking.
You can borrow confidence from others. From a mentor, a coach or adopting a tool or system from someone who has gone before you.
You can borrow confidence from your future self. Look ahead and imagine yourself having achieved the goal. Who are you? What are you thinking? How do you feel? How do you go about your day? You can live into that future self by identifying with her and borrowing her confidence.
But you must expect discomfort, expect fear and expect your mind to tell you to go back and hide in the cave, and be willing to feel these emotions and keep taking action.
What are you most afraid of doing?
Do that thing that you are not quite sure how to do just yet.
Make that decision that you know is right, but it scares the hell out of you to make it.
Perfectionism is a fancy way of saying you are scared.
Fear is normal.
Self-doubt is expected.
None of these things are valid excuses to not take action.
You are not alone.
We are all scared.
You can feel fear and take action anyway.
I encourage you to get out of the cave.
I promise you won’t die, you will grow.
We can be scared and anxious and we can manage our minds and create the lives we dream of. This is what we do inside Your Life Designed, my monthly coaching program for female entrepreneurs and change makers who want to design lives and businesses they are proud of. Inside YLD we design our lives for optimal well-being and growth in all areas.
We see things differently.
We know we are designed to grow.
We know we can change the world.
We don’t always ‘fit’ in.
We love our work.
We own our dreams.
We take action with fear on board.
We get results.
We define our own destiny.
We create our future.
We design our lives.
We are unstoppable.
You are just one decision away from changing your life forever my friend.
Your dreams are important.
Take a breath and just start walking.
Host of the Your Life Designed Podcast. Listen to the weekly podcast, released every Friday here
Creator of the Your Life Designed Monthly Coaching Program, learn more here
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