What is your Perfect Storm?
How about I wait until the point of internal combustion?
How about I hold on, pretend and lie to myself that it’s all good?
Or, what about this: what if I be there for everyone else, yet not accept love and help from those around me?
And to finish it, why don’t I tell myself that I’m all alone and no one understands me?
You’re ahead of the pack, a surety to win the gold medal for a breakdown – a perfect storm. It’s the destination we all fear and run from, yet you’re amongst the masses heading in the same direction. There is constant chasing of external pleasures to fill the void within, drowning the knowing of your truth.
Days pass with no expression of the pain. Emotions and feelings store their energy as you self-medicate with excess food, alcohol, numbing, gossiping and projection onto others. You avoid looking in the mirror for that extra second, just incase your true self calls your bluff. Everything is becoming hard — decisions, waking-up, conversing, concentrating and your overall vibe is negative, flat and frustrated, is this the perfect storm you are looking at?
In the beginning, those simple emotions of sadness, frustration, anger or confusion merely needed a voice — an authentic release. The heart informs when something doesn’t feel okay. It then sends notice to the subconscious, retrieving stored memories from external cueing, which conjure something to be looked at. Healed.
The mind is next in line to acknowledge this something, sending a message to the body for a release. Except your cycle doesn’t link, communicate or trust its counterparts. You feel something knowing it has deep relevance and it’s uncomfortable. Your mind freaks and plays out projected scenarios, sending anxiety, tension and the flight response through the body. Pile days, months and years onto the self-induced cycle and voila, you have created your very own personal breakdown.
From gestation of blocking your truth to metaphorical death, there were signs, everywhere. Your intuition was there all along saying, “come on, share me, speak out.” You knew it in those moments where you told yourself, “don’t share, it’s not important, just keep going.” You knew it when the closest to you kept asking if you were okay. You knew it when everything about your day was an inconvenience. And you definitely knew it when you felt scared being still in your presence.
Don’t think for a second you aren’t intuitive, you’ve just exercised numbing it. I get it, you have your stories of what-ifs, buts and it’s not possibles. You’ve spent a very long time conditioning yourself away from the person who holds the answers you seek. If you are so powerful to create an unfulfilling life, then guess what, you can create the opposite. It will take effort, commitment and time but you’ve proven to yourself you can do that whilst badgering yourself in the process. The more you consciously exercise sitting inside yourself, your intuition will turn up its volume.
Right now, whether you’re amidst your breakdown, on your way to the peak of it, or just stepping out of it, talk to someone. Reach out to someone you love or a professional to simply express and share. Give rise to your inner truth and trust the help that surrounds you, because you are never alone in this, ever.
Kat John has been a Registered Nurse since 2007,
working alongside the medical profession. A Melbourne based Intuitive Mentor since 2013, Kat will also complete her Graduate Diploma in Psychology in 2015.
Being amongst a profession that relied on facts and data,
her intuition would speak to her, yet at times be shutdown. The more something ‘felt different’ to what was being portrayed, Kat began to open up to what her inner voice
was sharing and became a strong voice in patient advocacy